I am willing to fight. Nothing will end this unless I refuse to go to this war

Preface: Maniacal is putting effort and efficiency on something without having goal.

I've decided to put more effort into being my old happy self again. I'm going to the movies today and watch whatever is on, even a horror flick would be preferable than rotting my @$$ at home. I have stopped blogging in my friendster's blog (it has only been 1 day). Mainly because I have been posting a lot of whimpering and gripe-y things.

After reading that frolicsome kid, I realize that the reason my posts are confusing is that because I have no anonymity there. My friends & family read that blog and there are certain ways they look at me. Its hard baring your soul to people you know because there is a degree of expectation they have on you. Therefore when I try to put across my thoughts and feeling within the limit of those expectations, I come up with crappy muddled up posts that baffle even me.

I’m also taking the time off posting in friendsters to read others blog. I appreciate the fact that there are people who check in on me by reading my friendsters blog. This is another concentrated effort on my part to reach out to my friends & family in order to make me ultimately blissful and in high spirit. I believe in karma and all that what goes around comes around thing. Secretly I am hoping I can come up with someone in my circle of life that has a somewhat worse life than I am having now… I know I’m an orge but hey wait a minute! Its human to feel this. Don’t tell me you never feel this way too… making it hush hush doesn’t make it untrue.

After reading a few blogs already, I find that I am indeed somewhere between pathetic (making myself happy is not working well here) and worthy. So ok I might not be having the worst life but neither am I having the great life I used to have. I crave the old life as much as I crave for cherry shisha. I am so impatient that once I’ve decided that I want my old existence back, I want it now!! Whoever said Time will heal, is clearly jobless and has too much time to spare.

I’d be happy for suggestions to make life seems happier. Just make sure its cheap and effortless and I’ll try anything once ;)

So is smoking hookah / hubbly bubbly/ shisha really bad?