for days now i have this unsettled, restless, unsteady feeling that something is not right in my life. i go through the motion my daily grind and deep inside i still feel empty. maybe its an accumulation of many small things that is slowly building up into a volcano eruption thingie.
what could be the root of my discomfort? is it buried deep in my subconscious? i should be able to access MY subconscious rite? now, if i can only find the right password *sighs*
maybe i am not doing and thinking according to my real self? my core principles? am i? who is my real self? what is really important to me? maybe unconsciously, my actions are conflicting with my emotion.
i am trying awfully hard to fill in the gaps with trips to places where i can be with my friends. because sometime being alone is... well, lonely.
i feel guilty for feeling lonely. because i know God is always there for me. i forget that i am never alone. but sometimes, even in the middle of a crowd i can feel so alone.
is this The Journey of self discovery that i have been waiting for since high school? am i finally gonna come out on the other side of this and recognize who i am? what made me ME?
does this makes any sense?
2 comments:
i know what you mean. sometimes, being single can be pretty lonely. and usually after breakups we have to pick the pieces of our heart n our "self" and put it back together again. i think thats why we feel lost, hurt, empty, hollow etc etc.. because its still "in the process" of being put back together... *do i make sense?* but anyway, Thank God for good friends and close family members *hugs* :)
I missed this earlier, but wanted to comment even if belatedly. It's tough to be on your own, I'm discovering. Scary, unnerving, occassionally exhilerating. But nothing to be guilty about. YOu feel what you feel, plain and simple. Keeping you in my thoughts.
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