My private island

my dearest friend,

life is so good for me, it has been for all these years. really, if you ever hear me complain about what a b!tch life is, i give you permission to slap me silly. of course, whenever you're around i cant imagine having anything to gripe about :) well the occasional b!tching sessions about “demons” doesnt count.

anyway i am expecting great things for us in the years to come. i trully believe that life is on a roll and its definately going uphill.

i can already imagine us being on top of the mountain, with our fur coats (opps thats not politically correct). ok, wipe that freezing cold image and think private island instead. we're more comfy in a beachy setting anyway ;) so imagine us at the beach, me with my nargile & you with whatever book thats taken ur fancy then. of course no beach lounging trip by a Sabahan is complete without a BBQ heh.

maybe somedays i feel down (although i'm flying high now i cant imagine it) i wish and i hope that you bring me to this private island. i pray for you my friend, that you should never feel down but if you should, then i'd arrange for a nice peaceful excursion to our private island.

i dont dare to question my good fortune. i pray that this blessing continues.

Alhamdulillah.

Amin

Sugar High

i used to be proud of having the ability to eat a massive amount of food but not gain a pound in weight. i know one day my eating habit will over come my body's metabolic rate. food is not really a weakness for me. i can resist the "bad" food and force myself to eat veggies and fruits all day long. my greatest problem is, yes, my sweet tooth.

i read somewhere that sugar addiction is harder to get rid of than tobacco addiction. thats a scary thing to think about.
i have to eat something sweet after every meal. its a MUST! if theres nothing sweet in the fridge i will resort to chugging chocolate syrup while watching tv. i know, i know. its disgusting right? one time i was so hungry for sweet, i slather a few spoonful of strawberry jam on a single bread just to get that sugar high.

i'm sick! help me.

Merdeka

I am sad that Merdeka (Independence Day) this year is very flat. Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud to be a Malaysian and I love this country to bits. Unfortunately, I feel that lately the Merdeka celebration is turning into an occasion for the political parties to endorse themselves and their propaganda. I feel that in the light of the circumstance, this is the time to demonstrate to the people that after 50 years of independence we are able to celebrate this festive occasion together as a nation not as individual political parties. It’s really disgusting to watch on TV how the politician shouted “Merdeka” to their select party members only. What about the rest of the nation? Are we not Malaysian? Just because some of us are not a member of the ruling party does that mean we don’t deserve to celebrate?

Since I was not alive when our country gained its independence from colonization of the British, I can’t really appreciate the true meaning of independence like how my grandma is. So I think the challenge of my generation, is to make this nation the kind of nation our forefathers wanted it to be. And it seems to me that these private celebrations of Merdeka that exclude other races or parties are signs of our failure.

But I still have hope J this year we’re celebrating Merdeka differently. There is no community feeling by going to the crowded town to watch fireworks between drunks. I can’t feel my love for my country watching the ruling party on TV spewing their propaganda and shouting “Merdeka” and coughing in between. On a smaller scale, my village has decided to congregate together and make it our own event. We’re gonna hold a “sukaneka” there will be races for the kids, volley ball competition, softball games for the girls and for the moms, well they decided to perform a dance, for the village. The dads are carpenters, engineers and technicians that day. They’re responsible to make sure that everything goes smoothly. Amidst all this, my mom is the Queen Bee! Haha its gonna be fun. We’re gonna do this on the 9^th Sept. so if you happen to be near my village that day, do come and join us celebrate our Merdeka ;)

The Omen

I've been busy again lately. I've wanted to write about my recent self-discovery. Its got something to do with my recent bout of sickness. My last post serves as a reminder to what I am supposed to write.

While I was lying sick in bed, there was one time I thought "What if today is the day that I die?" I thought about it for a while... after a few second of thinking I thought there's nothing wrong with dying today. If that is God's will then I am ok with it.

When I got better, I remember thinking about it again and my answer was different. I don’t think I have enough good deeds in my pocket yet. I didn’t want to die anymore. But at the same time I am not as afraid to meet God, as I was before this.

And the reason is because while I was lying sick in bed I read a really inspiring book. The Alchemist was written by Paulo Coelho.

I was reading it during my schlumping period. I like to think that it was Allah’s will to let me read this book at this time. The book bursts with optimism and it makes you feel that everything is possible if you only put your mind and effort into it. It inspires me and made me think about my life and my spiritual belief. In a way it forces me to stop and look at where I am now and reflect upon my past deeds.

The book is about following dreams, observing omens from God and adventure of life. It is about a boy, Santiago, who had a dream and had the courage to follow it. The book relates on his journey of self discovery, his exploration of his hidden treasure and omens from God. Which I now believe is everywhere if we only look and believe. It reminds me of how generous Allah can be to those who seek.

Before going on his voyage, his father’s advice was “Travel the world until you see that our castle is the greatest and our women the most beautiful” In his journey, Santiago sees the greatness of the world, and meets all kinds of exciting people like kings and alchemists. However, by the end of the novel, he discovers that "treasure lies where your heart belongs", and that the treasure was the journey itself, the discoveries he made, and the wisdom he acquired.

The king that Santiago met told him “when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true”.

I used to think that maybe I shouldn’t ask Allah for too many things and for help every time I’m in a bind. But I realize that that kind of thinking is the thinking of someone who is too proud. And who am I to be proud in the presence of Allah? My mom’s advice to me is “Be humble, because to be humble is to be great.” She is so right. There will always be something we need to learn everyday. There will always someone better or worse than us.

Cold

A couple of weeks ago I had a tummy ache. I was cranky at work and barked at all my innocents minions. Anyway when I went home I took a double dose of tummy ache pills. I totally forgot about my empty stomach and when I do realize it, I figured it would be ok. so an hour after i took the medicine, i started to feel a bit cold. i turned off the ceiling fan and continued watching my tv show. then after a few minutes i still felt cold. so i went into my room and wore a jacket then continued with my tv :) after a few more minutes i started to shiver. it didnt register at first that something was wrong. i just thought it was funny that i was shivering. and then the headache hits me like a headshot. thats when i realize that something is wrong with me. all my life i have never been that sick heh! it was a great experience.